It’s about time I tell anyone visiting here the story of how I met The Professor.
Around this time last year, I was only focusing on how to get out of my job as a hotel cook. The assistant general manager there was abusing the system and just being plain two-faced when it came to accountability. It was not a healthy place to stay in and I’m glad to be gone. However, this time last year I was still stuck and in need of a way to escape. I would spend my days off looking at jobs available and send resumés out to certain places.
During this time, I was really beginning to enjoy the freedom that not having my ex involved in my life at all gave me. I was on facebook, reconnecting with friends, making plans for a future that would be spent traveling the world. I even was researching if adoption was possible for a woman who was single. I knew I wanted to be a mom more than anything and I’ve always had a desire to adopt. In my mind, I was all set and making plans for what to do after I could afford to ditch my current situation.
Now, I honestly have no idea what possessed me to create a Match.com account. I literally was sitting there on one of my days off and browsing the internet when I just got this urge to create a dating site profile to just see what might happen. After some research, I decided on Match.com since it seemed cheaper than eHarmony and had a higher approval rating. I tried the free version for a bit but decided it was worth dropping a little money so I could more easily contact any guys I might meet.
Once again, I had no idea why I took this chance. I wanted to be single and not have to answer to anyone else for the adventures and travels I would take in life. I’d like to say this is one of those times where God directly changed things in my life in very obvious but somewhat unexplainable way.
I did see The Professor that first day. I checked the info he provided and everything looked good: serious about his faith (which was the same faith as mine), enjoys coffee, hiking, history, and writing. I checked out what he was looking for…and decided to not message him. I did not fit the description he had put for the woman he was hoping to find.
So I took a few days and continued searching, not getting a response from the people I was hoping for and getting notes from people I wouldn’t consider because of some very glaring differences.
So, I went back to him and looked at his profile in full because I figured maybe it was worth talking to him and at least finding a friend.
That is when I saw it.
Wrapped around his neck and not visible in the general thumbnail, was a Gryffindor scarf. Immediately, I knew I had to talk to this man. I didn’t care if he replied to say he wasn’t interested or if we talked and he wanted to keep things on a just friends basis, I was sorely lacking in friends to watch/reference Harry Potter with.
I complimented his scarf. That was it….Ok, and I liked his profile too.
He actually replied. He thanked me, explained his sister made it, and then left me a small note to let me know something important to him. He was hoping to find someone who took their faith seriously. I knew at this point we could at least have conversations because I was in agreement with that. I replied with a note that was slightly longer, he replied in kind. We kept writing through the end of May and into June. My parents knew nothing about it because, honestly, what if this friendship just stayed an online friendship? I would be fine with that. There was hope building though.
I added him to facebook sometime in early to mid June. After continuing to talk on there, we broached the subject of meeting in person. This meant I had to tell someone I knew in real life in case the person he was presenting himself to be was a façade and I was about to put myself in danger. So, while I went on a shopping trip with my mom, I brought him up. I was honestly expecting her to flip her lid, instead she was open to me going to meet him as long as it was a public place (he had suggested a bagel/coffee shop so ✔), as long as I kept my cell phone on me (✔), and as long as I had some proof I wasn’t, what I would call, being catfished (skype convo confirmed he was the same guy on his facebook ✔).
For the first date, I’ll spare as many details as my first draft had. Basically, I knocked my glasses off on accident when I greeted him with a hug, we walked around and explored the Capitol while trying to get the conversation flowing as easily in person as it did online. It took at least an hour, but eventually, the conversation happened. I bought him a book, and we ended our date at a local pub enjoying dinner. He had proof that I really wasn’t bothered if he enjoyed a glass of craft beer with his meal. We ended the date knowing we wanted to have another one soon.
That soon was next week on the Fourth of July. Not only did we watch fireworks, we watched them with my family and my whole church. We sailed on the lake and things were getting more relaxed between us.
The dates kept going. Every time we went out, we visited a new place and seemed to eat at a different restaurant. We liked each other. I could just tell in how he treated me and mostly but how honest he was about himself. He never hid how he felt about things and I loved that openness. It built trust. I felt safe and unpressured to change myself for him.
In August, I finally broached the subject of us dating officially while driving him around the area where I live to go to Friendly’s. Technically we were dating, but I wasn’t his girlfriend. After that car ride, that changed. We made it “facebook official” and everyone who knew us was glad for us. For me and The Professor, nothing changed except the name. Our relationship had always been getting to know each other more and growing closer as friends.
A month later, he said out loud that he loves me. I had known though. He had shown it to me and countless moments where I truly was valued as a person. I told him what he must have known by my own actions. I love him back.
Right now, a year later from our first “meeting”, we’re dating, working through doubts, speaking about difficult issues for us, and building this thing we started together. We hit obstacles now. Each obstacle brings struggle. Those struggles bring hope when we go through them together. I don’t know where I’ll be on this day next year, but, if this last year was any indication, I’m hoping we’re still doing things together.
And none of it would have happened, without a Gryffindor scarf.